raped

feel like i was raped. this indian guy was was on the other side of the interchange waiting fer 189 saw me and came out and looked at me for some time. then he went into the queueing area fer 945 and stood ryte behind me coming closer and closer to me. i felt so helpless. i was pissed at his behaviour. i wanted to shout at him. but i knew it will be rude. i kept quiet. i stood up and moved a lil further away. i wanted to get out of the queue but i could not as there were people on both sides. the the indian guy aged ard 30+ whispered something like ''pretty..''. i did not turn back to look at all.

i was afraid. past memories of the indian ITE guys behaving in such lowly manner with me came to mind. then the indian guy went away from the queue. i did not turn back at all. hoping and praying that he will go far away. then the bus 61 came. i boarded it thinking it was over and i did not have to look at that fella's face again. BUT! no it was not over. the indian guy actually boarded the bus and he had the cheek to sit beside me. goodness. i have no idea what happened to me. i mean i can see myself shouting at the bloody guy in this situation but no. i did not shout.

i felt lost. i felt helpless. i mean he did not touch me or anything. but u know. i can see his eyes surverying my body and i was so disgusted. i felt used. i wanted to get up and go away fromt he sit. but then, i would have to go past him to get off. so i sat where i was. FREAKING BASTARD..

he could still talk to me saying what engineer something. and before i knew it, tears began to form and i actually cried! and that Loser got damn scared and immediately pretended to use the phone and got off at the very next stop. i called hidayah immediately and told her everything while crying. thank God fer her. she understood my problem and i really appreciate it.

this is the reason why i cant communicate with indian guys. it all started when i was confronted by the ITe guys. i lost hope in indian guys. seriously. why must they be like this. HOPELESS. oh crap. i am crying now. like wth. why the heck must i waste my tears on them??

and oh, when i got home and told my mother and sister about this, quess what was thier reaction?? WTF?? '' you should have scolded him like ''what the fuck do u think u are doing??what do u want?'' and my mum went, '' you should have called me!''... i was damn pissed man. i only wanted someone to listen to my probs. NOT go and say '' you should have....'' and '' why didnt you?'', '' why did u just cry?'' or '' why u so dumb?''

WTF!! dont rub it in. u think i had all the time to think about this when i was with that indian guy??ArGH. FUCK man.

FUCK!