my life.

vin's sentence about my life really got me thinking.

i remember when i was around 14 years old. a pastor prophesied that i have gone thru alot in my past and my future will be better. i thanked God fer it. i mean i feel like my childhood sucked. why could i not be like everybody else? happily living with both parents who were understanding? why must my family have to go thru this. ? bet most children my age will not even have known what is a court. a family court. but i knew exactly what it was and went there often with no where to og.why why why were all the questions in my mind. then again, God had his purpose.

i remember when i lived with my grandparents for like 3 years, in ang mo kio. looking at my grandfather who was a stroke patient, i often used to wonder what sort of a father he might have been before he got the stroke. looking at his children taking good care of him, i definately knew that he had been a good father. He believed in Jesus and followed him. God took care of him. i wished i had a father like him. again, God had his purpose.

When i was 16, i cried alone often at home. was going thru so much. but i could turn to none. i was afraid of my father. i cant say a werd to him. i mean what was our relationship? i admit i was jealous this once when naz's dad was talking to me n her. they were talking like friends. they shared feelings. and who could i turn to? none. my mum was always busy. no point telling my feelings to her. how about my friends then? i did not trust them enuf to tell them. seriously. when people take normal werds from u fer granted, do u think they will even bother about what u are going thru?then again, God had his purpose.

these made me turn to Jesus. My saviour. for without him, i could NEVER had made it this far. He was there all along. when i felt that i had no where to go, he was there all along waiting fer me to talk to him. He carried me when i was too tired to walk my life. He loved me. and i only love him because he first loved me. That everlasting love which i keep drowning over and over again.

and now, i thank God fer my life. my childhood. my pain and suffering. my family. my friends. they are gifts from God. and i treasure them. this is also one of the reasons why i do volunteer werk at the salvation army. a listening ear to these broken children will not hurt. knowing that there is someone who will listen to them will definately touch the people i meet. and this is also the reason why i keep asking my non-christian friends to follow me to church. cause i want them to know that someone cares fer them.

and i am very glad that Naz now knows that there is someone who cares fer her. hope u get what the pastor meant. =) THERE IS SOMEONE WHO CARES FER YOU AND ME. care to taste his goodness?

Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt
Who am I, that the Bright and Morning Star
Would choose to light the way
For my eevr wandering heart
Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are
I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours
Who am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love
and watch me rise again
Who am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me
Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are
I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours
I am Yours
Whom shall I fear
Whom shall I fear
'Cause I am Yours
I am Yours